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Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Tantangan

So here I am. Back again with loads of stories to catch up. So excited about our movin out (yay!), challenges in Bunda Sayang class, and more big plans coming up.

Kayanya baru sekali dalam hidup punya beberapa hal penting yang harus dilakukan bersamaan, butuh fokus dan konsistensi, butuh kesabaran ekstra, uang ekstra, perhatian ekstra. Semua tumplek plek plek are put on the same time : Now. November. My birthday. Hauahaha.

Selalu minta sama Allah tahun yang baik, yang membuat pribadi pintar dan semakin dewasa. This year was a blast. My 29 year old life has been fulfilled by blessings. Both ups and downs, laughs and tears, tapi masih bersama suami dan anak.

Walaupun ada bentrokan hebat tapi bisa kami perbaiki. Secara kebetulan, kelas BunSay mulai bulan November ini. Semakin saya kilas balik akan kesalahan cara saya berkomunikasi pada setiap individu di hidup saya. Terutama suami dan anak.

Allah memang Maha Pengatur. Maha segalanya. Kelas BunSay mulai paaaas banget saat kami diberi izin untuk pindah dari rumah Ibu saya. Semakin optimis bahwa saya bisa melakukan semuanya sekarang karena ini waktu yang diberikan Allah. Sekarang. Tidak menunda.

Materi udah mulai dikunyah tapi tetep nih masih ngawang. 😄 Bekal di kelas Matrikulasi sangat membantu saya membangun kepercayaan diri untuk menyelesaikan tugas di kelas Bunda Sayang ini. Setahun loh. Gimana ga kurang nekat nih si Dita 💃

Kita lihat ke depan seberapa konsistennya saya dalam setahun ini.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Ssasshut Up

Oh gosh. How this meal drama drown me to despair. Like, dealing with toddler is enough but dealing with her meal is even worse.

Kaya menyeimbangkan nutrisi which I am so lack of doing such perfect meal plan or even do it. Karena belum pernah melakukan saya tahu saya harus mulai dengan monthly plan karena weekly plan udah terlalu too exhausting. 💆

Well I'm trying, at least this October.
Hari ini Lateefa full of carbs dari nasi sampe misoa dan kentang. Emaknya juga. Bahahaha.

Yuks, dicoba ya Dita..biar lebih nutritious gitu meal dan isi tubuh anak & ibunya...

Just random note. I really am not sure why this popped up in my mind but..

Monday, October 2, 2017

Dress Up and Do Good



Read full article here :
https://www.polygon.com/2017/9/21/16341458/pewdiepie-racial-slurs-online-gaming

This reminds me of 9yo student somewhere with "ngepet, anjay, anjir" and the genital shout out right in front of my face, and their friends.

I am a mom. I have big responsibility. As a wife, mom, daughter, sister, human being. I play so many roles in life and become a functional, fully functional adult is a challenge. On pms or hard days where hormones are just not getting it right, it becomes psychology thriller story or whatever you name it like American Psychopath, Clockwork Orange, or The Fight Club.
Because I am a mom. I have responsibility. A big one, forever. With no practice, I just learn alongside my toddler daughter.
Sometimes, this world is just too dangerous for me, and for my kid(s, later -amin). Just too insecure for them.
But again, "Allah sebaik-baiknya tempat meminta". Dan saya selalu inget, "Allah dulu, Allah lagu, Allah terus". Although the fear stays, I'll fight. And I need not to worry nor sad.

But this is just where this silly hormone slams me. How online lofe can ruin your life. How images can tear your confidence. How perfect feeds of your rape my incapability.
That's why I have no 'life' on almost every social media I signed in.

Your images, when I am not strong enough to see your happy holiday feeds with cupcakes and cakes, or beach views, or shopping bags, or Sushi plates - make me sad. Like, sad. Dan membuat saya berhenti bersyukur at some point. So I think it is a toxic. There's a toxic in my head that said "geez, they should've been in magazine for their flawless looks". As I'm looking to the mirror, I see dark spots under my eyes, blackheads on my nose, and unhappy me showing just before my eyes. So I think I have to stop.

I have to withdraw. Because this isn't part of my life. This isn't part of me anymore. I mean, it is of course NOT your fault to share memories. I really appreciate you want to collect and keep moments with your loved ones, it's just..me.

The problem is with me and I just rant over stuffs I don't have to just because I am too jealous to see your perfect lives.

Whatever I have said that made you sad, I apologise. Just like the classic said, "blame it on hormones and do not take any responsibilities".